Today was my friend Sophie’s funeral. She was young and vibrant and fiery and passionate and it was a privilege to know her.
She has a daughter 2 months younger than Aeryn. The love she poured into that child with every moment of her time was so strong it was tangible, tactile. She wanted so much for her. To be so much for her. To give her the childhood she wished she’d had herself. I am devastated and angry and heartbroken that those dreams will never be fulfilled.
I can’t imagine leaving Aeryn behind, at this age or any age really. Sophie had a cancer diagnosis in September and didn’t make it to her daughter’s birthday in March. It was quick and painful and debilitating and frankly completely unfair.
She ate organic, looked after herself, was fit and healthy and in her early 30s she’s told she has stage 4 bowel cancer. Life can be really, really cruel.
It was a really lovely service. It’s still not quite real, though. I feel like I’m falling short as I try to write about this.
I think maybe I’m finding it difficult to process because her life seemed so much…bigger than mine? Like she felt more, did more, was more present, more experienced, more passionate, more strong willed, more, well, just more.
She’s basically the last person you would expect to die because she so completely and fiercely lived, she was a solid presence in her own life and the lives she touched. I think today just proved how in every area of her life, she really touched people.
Our kids are growing up so fast. I will make the most of every moment I get to spend with mine, as Sophie would have if she had the choice.
I’ll miss you.