Posted in Family and Parenting

86/365

This is the only photo I took today. Aeryn is riding an aeroplane to China to see Auntie Charlotte and Uncle Nick. 

This was today’s only photo because we didnt have a good day. In complete honesty, Aeryn is going through some sort of developmental leap thing right now that I am really struggling with and I know it will only get worse when her brother is born.

Today is the first time I’ve actually sort of regretted being pregnant. I don’t think I’ve left a big enough age gap for her to cope well with it and I am starting to lack the energy/physical ability to deal with her effectively when she’s tantrumming/running off and not listening/wilfully defiant/screaming in my face/etc. 

I feel like I’m turning into the kind of parent I hate. She’s suffering, I’m suffering, Ben is almost never around due to his weird job schedule and I don’t think having a baby will even slightly improve things right now. I just want to reconnect with my daughter and I don’t know how to, I’m in such a hormonal fog I just can’t find what I need to say or do to get us both through each difficult moment.

I’ve finally got her to tolerate being in a sling again occasionally which really helps her,  but she’ll only be front carried which is starting to kill my bump and I can’t continue that when baby arrives, as he’ll be too small for my back.

I’m just a bit lost and sad and frustrated and hormonal today.

I get that I’m very lucky to be pregnant and I do love and want him. I’m just finding stuff hard right now.

Not every day on a daily blog was going to be a good one, I guess. 

xXx

Author:

Jen enjoys reading (endlessly, everything), creative writing, playing RPGs, buying from local markets, drinking coffee, drinking tea, craft projects, baking, gentle parenting, home educating and speaking in third person. She blogs about issues and ideas surrounding education, parenting, feminism, craft and various other interesting tidbits. What a wonderful word, tidbits.

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